Via TheOnion -
SAN FRANCISCO—At a highly anticipated media event Tuesday at San Francisco's Moscone Center, Apple Inc. CEO Steve Jobs introduced a new Apple product he said would "revolutionize" the process of unveiling new products throughout the world.
"In 1984, Apple introduced the Mac," Jobs said to an overflowing crowd as an image of the first Macintosh computer was displayed on a giant screen behind him. "We changed the face of the music industry with the first iPod in 2001. And in January, we showed off the revolutionary new iPhone. Today, Apple is releasing a piece of innovative new technology that will forever change the way innovative new technology is released."
The iLaunch, as the new product is called, was then raised up from below the stage, prompting the audience of technology journalists, developers, and self-professed "Apple fanatics" to burst into a five-minute standing ovation.
"Get ready for the future of product introduction," said Jobs, looking resplendent in a black turtleneck and faded jeans. "The iLaunch will be able to make announcements from this, or any other stage, making human participation in generating consumer awareness almost entirely unnecessary."
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