Spoof: Man Endures Thumb Plastic Surgery to Better Use Shrinking Technology

Update - As it turns out...this is a spoof, taken from a Denver Newspaper. Thanks to a reader for pointing this out. Sadly, it isn't outside the realm of reality..as I have seen some crazy cases over the years. Thanks again, Finucane.

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Via ZDnet Blog -

Definitely this should be filed under “truth is stranger than fiction.”

The North Denver News reports that Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae, Colorado recently underwent “whittling” thumb surgery to better enable him to use the iPhone.

Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as “whittling.”

“From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses,” Martel tells reporter James Bently. “Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it’s saving me in frustration - that’s priceless.”

Well OK, Tom.

“This is really, on the edge sort of stuff,” explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. “We’re turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency.”

As Bently describes it, “the procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails.

While Martel’s new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift “pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise.”

So now, Martel feels iPhone empowered.

But he’s not the only one to struggle with opening spaghetti sauce jars. Push down and twist? Yea, right.

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Yet another example of self-controlled artificial "evolution" for the sole purpose of increasing our integration with technology. I use evolution in quotes because true evolution involves changing inherited traits which are passed on to the next generation.

Genetic engineering is true self-controlled evolution. In this case, this is pure plastic surgery...but it is a sign of things to come in the future - like it or not.